10 Steps to Giving Great Feedback

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.  Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.”  - Margaret Cousins

“Can I give you some feedback?”

Why is it when we hear that question, we freeze and tell ourselves something bad is coming?

I have grown to really appreciate feedback…at least the type of feedback that is very constructive with suggestions on how I might change my behavior to have more impact. I believe we always have the choice to listen to the feedback and start to take the actions steps to change or just say “Thank-you for the feedback” and decide it was valuable, but decide not to change. My choice.

I believe that great feedback is possible…even if you need to deliver some very challenging feedback that you feel may be felt as confrontational.

Here are 10 steps to giving great feedback, both challenging and appreciative:
  1. Develop an outline and write down key messages.
  2. Be sure to gather specific examples and facts.
  3. Be sure to explain the impact of the behavior on you.
  4. Answer these three questions:
    1. What do I want for me in this conversation?
    2. What do I want for the other person?
    3. What do I want for our relationship? How do I want us to be after this conversation?
  5. Understand the person’s communication style and anticipate their questions and reactions.
  6. Focus on results and behaviors, not the emotions and personalities. Principles before personalities.
  7. Be sure to acknowledge accomplishments. One can always find something to appreciate in another human being.
  8. Give specific examples of how to improve, if appropriate.
  9. Listen actively. Be present. Do not allow any disturbances.
  10. Communicate your support in helping the individual change their behavior. Follow through on any promises you made to help.
“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.”  -Albert Schweitzer

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