Blog

Values

How to Get Over Over Preparing

overprepared_dreamstime_xl_126680636.jpg

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail” – Benjamin Franklin

Yes. I confess. I am a life long over preparer. I am one of those individuals who prepares excessively. I have a fear of being seen as someone who doesn’t know her stuff. And I carry with me a performance mentality where I have a need to be seen as an expert in my field.

The source of this is that I don’t want that experience I had as a kid when I was laughed at or made fun of because I said...

Read more…

Top 10 Ways to Fail at Giving Great Feedback

feedback-fail_dreamstime_xl_165865614.jpg

I work with a lot of people around creating a feedback culture in their organizations, which, of course, includes how to give great feedback. I’m a believer that when you learn what to do, you also need to learn what not to do.

Here are my Top 10 ways to fail at giving great feedback, in no order of importance:

  1. Don’t ask the individual for permission to give feedback Just give it to them. You know what is best for them.
  2. Provide feedback in front of other people especially when...

Read more…

How to Get the Impact You Want

get-the-impact--dreamstime_l_52003064.jpg

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
~ Mark Twain

I once told someone this was my favorite quote. Finding it again brought up the many reasons I love it. All during my life, I have encountered people who were nay-sayers and tried to belittle my ambitions. There was a time when I truly believed those who told me: "You can't do that!"; "That's too big for you to do."; "Who...

Read more…

The Importance of Sustainability

emptycup-dreamstime_l_150494576.jpg

"If you are not taking care of your sustainability, then you are 'full of it.'"
~ Laura Whitworth

The issue of sustainability and self care has come up many, many times recently.

"Sustainability" is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as: "To keep in existence; to maintain. To supply with necessities or nourishment. To keep from falling or sinking. To support the spirits or resolution of."

The topic of sustainability always comes up in my work with individuals. How do we keep the...

Read more…

Four Questions to Help You Reflect

Importance-of-Reflection_dreamstime_xl_173681438.jpg

"If we would only give, just once, the same amount of reflection to what we want to get out of life that we give to the question of what to do with a two week's vacation, we would be startled at our false standards and the aimless procession of our busy days." ~Dorothy Canfield Fisher

"Stop the World! I want to get off!" I screamed in the empty space in my car on the way home from a client. I pounded the steering wheel with my fisted hand. The highway (Pre-Covid) was stop and go, mostly...

Read more…

The Joy of Asking for Help

better-together-joy-ask-help-3.jpg

Listening is being able to be changed by the other person. --Alan Alda

I always took great pride in my ability to accomplish a lot. I was one of the fastest “Check it off, it’s done” people I knew. Can you identify? 

Several years ago, during a leadership program I attended, I pulled aside the leader and told her, “I am getting impatient with all these people. They seem to take forever to come to a decision and want to just talk on and on and on.”

She...

Read more…

Give Yourself Permission to Find Your Why

Find-Your-Why.jpg

“Want something you’ve never had? Do something you’ve never done.” - Unknown

Comfort Zones are the habits we have—neither good nor bad—that we need to be aware of, because they may be preventing us from playing at our best. Comfort Zones may be keeping us in the same old place, as they are just that—they are comfortable. And who wants to leave a place that is comfortable for what is unknown and more than likely uncomfortable?

A Comfort Zone can be a...

Read more…

Transitions

change-word-cloud.jpg

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become." ~Charles DuBos

Transition is the process of letting go of the way things used to be and then taking hold of the way they subsequently become. Sounds easy, but in reality, it is really hard letting go of the comfort of sameness.

We resist transition not because we can't accept the change, but because we can't accept letting go of that piece of ourselves that we have to give up when and...

Read more…

The Truth about White Privilege

Ruth-King_Mindful-of-Race.jpg

This is my 200th blog. Most of my blogs have covered the topic of authentic leadership from the inside out. This blog is different. The times are different. I have been searching how I can examine my own biases and educate myself on racism. I found this excerpt from Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out by Ruth King.  She has granted me permission to reprint here.

“My child, I’d like to tell you, from my lips, the truth about our racial history—...

Read more…

I See You

I-See-You.jpg

This blog was originally published in March of 2019. I thought it would be a good reminder for all of us about the importance of really seeing each other.

How many times have we asked someone “How are you?” hoping that we don’t get more than a one-word response such as “Fine” or “Good”? How often do we just continue to walk on and not stop to acknowledge the person answering—or perhaps asking—the question, just so we’ll be able to...

Read more…