You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Flickr image from Safe Homes Rape Crisis CoalitionWhen you decide to play a bigger game in your life, the good news about your decision is that you don’t have to do it by yourself. Not only that, you cannot do it by yourself because it is not a bigger game if you do. That would make it a self game.

The allies you have in your life can be your supporters; the champions who support you in your game or the cheerleaders who voice their encouragement. They might be co-players too; someone who is right alongside you playing the same game.

Naysayers can also be good allies. How? Because when a naysayer says, “You can’t do that,” your response is probably, “I’ll show you that I can.” Naysayers help you stiffen your resolve and are capable of pointing out some possible pitfalls. Listen to them.

Other allies could be your employer, your family and friends, Mother Nature, or your pets. In other words, most anybody or anything that inspires you and helps keep you moving forward is your ally.

We must purposefully design our relationships with our Bigger Game allies. This means that we communicate clearly how we want others to support us. Perhaps we need a co-player in our game. Perhaps we need a group of allies to brainstorm with us. We can even find allies who can hold us accountable. People want to help. Let them.

One Buddhist definition of suffering is forgetting we are all connected. Joy is remembering that we are all connected.

This gives you the opportunity as a game changer to remind others we are all connected—and you need them to connect with you in specific ways. Perhaps you are the one person in someone’s life who helps show him or her how to engage in a Bigger Game. Ask such a person to help. This person is waiting for you.

Laura Whitworth, one of my coaching teachers and mentors, used to say of coaching: “I believe every person wants to make a difference in the world. They just don’t know how. We’re here to show them.” After many years of being involved in learning about human potential and behavior, coaching others, and playing quite a few bigger games, I, too, believe in her words.

The above is an excerpt from the best seller Gutsy Women Win: How to Get Gutsy and Get Going. Get it here.


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